Wednesday, May 18, 2011

What the Hell Does Oprah Want Now?

I just got my a** handed to me.  Seriously.  This was one crazy season.  And you, my one follower, if you are still even out there, thought I deserted you.  Hell no.  Remember, back in the day when I was all big and said I had 10 cakes in one week?  Oh, I was so young and dumb then.  To say I was naive would be an understatement.  The monkey and I, we were going on 10 a day sometimes this year.  Ha-ha, yeah, 'tis true.  But we made it, my pastry cook and I.  Sans a dishwasher who thought a cup of salt in some cranberry walnut cookies was really not a big deal.  Oh, and one other that believed yes, I was his personal taxi and lunch maker with not a whole lot better to do.  And here we are-many AmEx charges and Starbucks coffees later. So let's look back at some of the highlights of the season, shall we?

We started out with 450 5-item gift tins.  Thank you Mr. Michaels-you rock.  Throw in a couple of wedding cakes and a few hundred cupcakes at the same time and you got yourself an all out fiesta.  p.s. I was definitely crackin' some Coronas.

Let's add in a couple hundred more gift tins and a cake that I glued to the table-by mistake.  And you know it was tall and right before I walked out the door with it. And a monoply board that told the story of the birthday boy's life.  Thank you that our intern was up on the game.  Oh yes, and the baby who had the lactose free cupcakes is still up and running, literally.  Kudos, kudos.  And Parisian macarons by the hundreds this year.  Don't leave out all of the chocolate mousse cakes, buche de noel, and brownies for Snoop.  What?!  And all those celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, or cake just because-thank you for including us in your special day.  Now, if you can just take the aforementioned, and multiply it by 6.  Can you feel me?

I will continue this craziness because one day I will be sitting on a beach, in the winter, with people who winter on beaches.  And when the phone rings, I can look at it and then toss it aside, wondering what the hell does Oprah want now?


ah9465a said...

And somehow you managed to cook fabulous desserts to accompany several fabulous (and oh so large) meals for a group of VERY lucky people! I think I speak for everyone when I say, we REALLY appreciate all your hard work!

Justine said...

You have TWO followers not 1!! High Quality, High Yielding, and STILL manage to have a sense of humor! I love your blog. For every day that requires corona cracking, you should blog!

jemmacolemanphotography said...

three followers now :) you're my favorite sarcastic chef! ;)