What the Hell Does Oprah Want Now?

I just got my a** handed to me.  Seriously.  This was one crazy season.  And you, my one follower, if you are still even out there, thought I deserted you.  Hell no.  Remember, back in the day when I was all big and said I had 10 cakes in one week?  Oh, I was so young and dumb then.  To say I was naive would be an understatement.  The monkey and I, we were going on 10 a day sometimes this year.  Ha-ha, yeah, 'tis true.  But we made it, my pastry cook and I.  Sans a dishwasher who thought a cup of salt in some cranberry walnut cookies was really not a big deal.  Oh, and one other that believed yes, I was his personal taxi and lunch maker with not a whole lot better to do.  And here we are-many AmEx charges and Starbucks coffees later. So let's look back at some of the highlights of the season, shall we?

We started out with 450 5-item gift tins.  Thank you Mr. Michaels-you rock.  Throw in a couple of wedding cakes and a few hundred cupcakes at the same time and you got yourself an all out fiesta.  p.s. I was definitely crackin' some Coronas.

Let's add in a couple hundred more gift tins and a cake that I glued to the table-by mistake.  And you know it was tall and right before I walked out the door with it. And a monoply board that told the story of the birthday boy's life.  Thank you that our intern was up on the game.  Oh yes, and the baby who had the lactose free cupcakes is still up and running, literally.  Kudos, kudos.  And Parisian macarons by the hundreds this year.  Don't leave out all of the chocolate mousse cakes, buche de noel, and brownies for Snoop.  What?!  And all those celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, or cake just because-thank you for including us in your special day.  Now, if you can just take the aforementioned, and multiply it by 6.  Can you feel me?

I will continue this craziness because one day I will be sitting on a beach, in the winter, with people who winter on beaches.  And when the phone rings, I can look at it and then toss it aside, wondering what the hell does Oprah want now?

The Sugar Monkey-10 months in the life

Ten months have past since my last post.  I feel like a deadbeat dad.  Or like Lindsey Lohan's dad who only shows up when it is convenient for him.  So what can I do but grovel and give you my list of excuses for not showing up.

1.  Why I missed Thanksgiving - Again, I am so sorry you had to buy that pie at Costco.  It won't happen this year, I promise.  I was very busy in November.  The West Palm Greenmarket was in full swing and I had an order for 500 favors along with all of the holiday tarts and cakes.  My favorite was a gingerbread torte with caramel pears and orange confit.

2.  Why you still haven't recieved your Christmas present - A. I really didn't even have time to get you one, but I knew what I wanted to get you!  B.  Gift baskets, gift baskets, gift baskets, and yule logs, and Parisian macarons topped off with a few holiday parties!  Can't wait for the chocolate yule log this year.  I love the little chocolate decorations that adorn them!

3.  No kiss on New Year's?  Don't be jealous.  I was asleep before the new year was even rung in.  I knew I would have one slow week the first week of January to try and catch a little shut-eye before everything hit the fan!  And then lots of individual desserts, cupcakes, and favors out the wazoo!  Loved the tiny blue Parisian macarons filled with chocolate ganache.

4.  Oh, my sweet sweet Valentine - Please tell me there is no explanation needed here!  And a box of the handmade white chocolate mendiants will have you lovin' me all over again.

5.  What the what?  And then it just over the top even busier.  There were more parties and more special occasion cakes and wedding cakes and the magic hat cake with the bunny rabbit coming out the top and favors and Passover and Easter was right around the corner.  Chocolate mousse cake with layers of chocolate biscuit and a little sack of monkey mallows was the perfect treat for Passover.

6.  Why I missed your "Come Celebrate Spring" party - Are you joking me?  At this point I didn't even care about your party. Sorry Spring!  As a matter of fact, if you weren't coming to the Sugar Factory, you weren't seeing me!  

7.  Why I missed your wedding and I told you not to make me the maid of honor anyway - Yeah, that could of been the day that I got yelled at by a bride for ruining her wedding day by not covering her cake with fondant.  Yeah, I might have started drinking right after that phone call!

8.  Woohoo season's over-summer's here - You didn't get the memo, huh?  Yeah, no, June-big month for weddings.  And grooms's cakes-like the set of drums we made to match the ones the groom played!

9.  Why I never showed up for the fireworks or my suprise birthday party - A.  Was making a Louisiana Hot Sauce Bottle cake-over 2 ft. tall!  B.  Magic Hat Wacko.

10.  And again I stood you up!!  I was out of town, I swear!

And there you have it - like I was never even MIA!  Talk to you soon!